by Former Vandal

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released January 21, 2017



all rights reserved


Former Vandal Fort Wayne, Indiana

weird kid making weird music.

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Track Name: BENDER
Well she said,
"I'm south bound,
they promised to fix my head.
Well ain't that a pretty sound?
I guess they're holding out for me yet.

Well, mama's been crying
since my hands got cold.
But my father's been drier
than the blood on my nose.

We might as well, huh?
When I get clean again the fun will end.

For old times sake.

You killed me first
and you taste like hell.
I only keep you around cause
you're bad for my health."
I guess I’m talking to myself
Your eyes on the mirror
I guess you’re somewhere else.

You say you know me well.
But you don’t know to think
with out somebody’s help.

And I’ve been fucking round town,
with the window’s down,
just to feel the wind move through the air.

And you’ve been moving your mouth,
Just to hear the sound,
It doesn’t matter if nobody’s there.

Well don’t you ever wonder?
Can’t you feel it falling down from time to time?
Don’t you ever want more?
Don’t you ever feel alone inside your mind?
Cause I do.

I guess I should’ve moved on,
I float around like a ghost in this house,
but I’m too tired to haunt.
And you couldn’t care, never feel me there.

And I’ve been making things worse,
just to feel the hurt,
because it’s better than not feeling at all.

And you’ve been slurring your words,
wearing shorter skirts,
because you love it when the boys look.

You kiss that cigarette the way you used to kiss my neck.

I am smoke in your hair, the purpose in pretense.
Wash me all away, and spill out your reasons.
Track Name: BAD LUCK

Draw a breath, quiet choke
Calm as chaos, clear as smoke
Sleeping giants are best left to lie
Take a rest, dig a hole
make a bed, call it home
The little voice inside is sparking fires

My heart cares but my hands can't find the phone
I wish you well but I wake up and I'm throwing stones
It's not fair but I guess that's just the way it goes
My head is no place to roam

Take it back, it's not too late to say
you don't mean love at all
Your best bet is walking away
You know I'm bad luck, baby
Walk on

Draw a breath, take it slow
Talk yourself out of the world
The words are pretty but pretty is pretty worthless
And if you don't then now you know
My scars will swallow you whole
I'll show you empty if empty is what you're chasing

My heart cares but my hands break all I touch,
I know you swear you can take it but it's all too much
It's not fair but I guess that;s just the way it goes
My head is no place to roam

So you
You don't want this, darling
Oh you
You don't know what you're starting
Oh, you know it's bad, bad news.
You know I'm bad luck baby.

It's not some trick, I just think you know better
Can't be fixed and no, we can't save each other
It's not some game, and I don't wanna play
Cause the tensions thick but it's not worth it
I'm a hurricane but I'm coming quick
So walk away you don't wanna stay.

You know I'm bad luck, baby.
Track Name: LOUD
Empty space.
All of the people that
you let take my place
I can feel you leave
with every breath I take.
oh, I wish you'd stay,
but I know I've changed.
and it's best this way.

well don't you remember?
we were gonna get married.
we were gonna be happy.

but you fell, and I landed.
I know I promised forever,
but do you think it could wait?

you said, "I love you but you think too loud.
and I'd love to but it hurts me to hang around."
I'm shallow and selfish,
and you're patient and your selfless.
and I won't blame you,
I won't dare to.
"I love you, but you think too loud."

and I'd love to be
every bit every piece of what you need.
but my heart won't lend that
part of me.
I said, "take your time, step away."
I'll swear I'll love you all the same.
but I never thought you'd listen,
till I felt the bed grow cold.

don't you remember?
we were gonna get married,
but we forgot to be happy

and you fell, and I landed.
I know you promised forever,
but those were far better days.

we were careless, we were only fooling ourselves.
we're well versed, self learned at running like hell.
I hope you still love me, is that fucked up to say?
I'm happy that you're happy but I'm hurting either way.
(only always)
Track Name: UNDONE
i said, "i don't mind if we spin me round."
an easy burn, a calmer nerve.
a casual comedown.

i don't mind just one more go around.
i'm sober still, and overkill
might finally figure me out.

but now we're inside,
and i don't feel right.
my god, i've turned my knuckles white.
you say, "kid, are you alright"
but i lost my shoes in the lack of light.
my lungs, they burn, for the kitchen door.
my visions blurred and it starts to pour.
i'm blackout barefoot in the rain.

oh. i know i'm all undone.
maybe there's no romance in being numb.
but the devil's lips are a Judas kiss,
cause they burn like hell, but it's so honest.
i feel it, love, i'm all undone.

i don't mind, i'll sleep under dome light.
you say it's just a bad trip, but you don't believe it.

please don't lie, i'm not fine.
i'm out of touch, and shaken up,
and far from my right mind.

is it over yet?

i swear i felt you miss me
in the swing of my head from
the wheel to the seat
so the drivers side where i'll sleep.
in hopes that i might feel you breathe.
when i find strength and find my feet,
and the drugs wear off, and i find relief.
i'm only left with memories
of what it's like to feel you leave.