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The Grieving Young

by Former Vandal

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1.
Lilywhite 01:23
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Pull my wounded knuckles wide Lost my innocence in lily white We still hang high from August skies But the fever lifts in all due time If they ask me where the bottle went I’ll ask them why? Cause we just spent our last few cents On Marlboro lights I knew before my middle name: The grief inside To fight, to fuck To fear the day the ache subsides (I must have misplaced my morals when I unpacked again.)
2.
Parliaments 04:20
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"It's such waste," you say With your heels in hand Yeah, you're slurring all your words And I'm avoiding all your friends "A headcase," they say But I place no blame You know I never meant to lose it At your party again "Does anyone know who this kid is? Yeah, he's a piss-poor flirt and I'm over it." I guess I drank too much and I still can't dance Oh god, I hate this song And all my friends So take what you can get I could be better yet, don't talk you'll ruin it Take what you can get I'll be your best regret, sullen in silhouettes "It's such shame," you say Through a cigarette Oh, I stutter over pseudo-lovers Draped in sweat You came and left With no regrets I only barely make it out with just An empty pack of Parliaments "Does anyone know who this kid is? Yeah, he's a 4, at best, if I'm generous." I guess I drank too much and I still can't dance Oh god, I hate this song And all my friends You're on the back porch, falling in love Out front, I'm smoking, waiting for the car to come
3.
Babyboy 04:12
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Developing dependencies It’s a soft-focus fever dream Nostalgia for the worst of me It gets heavy with our truancy “Would you quit for me? Baby boy, would you quit for me? You’re breathing short and sleeping more Baby, would you quit for me? Baby boy, would you quit for me?” Well, what for? Either/or? One more we’ll leave Enamored by my cheap mystique You used to think I was cool Now you’re worried bout me A little late, a touch naive But I love a good car crash devotee “Would you quit for me? Baby boy, would you quit for me?” Well, what for? One more You said “Easy does it. Oh, just simmer down You got two more years til we figure this out.” Well, easy does it, oh, but stick around You know I’m way too young to think right now I know I look so pretty when I lose my head So baby, humor me a minute Before you find it again Easy does it, oh, but stick around You know I’m way too young to think right now Uncover your affinity For these sacrificial tendencies You got a taste for whiskey neat And washing my blood from bathroom sinks “Would you quit for me? Baby boy, would you quit for me?” Well, don’t lie, you love the low life We’re going over fate’s head But we look damn good while we’re doing it Don’t cry, don’t get so upset We’re young, harsh, reckless But not a problem yet
4.
Alison 03:31
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Ali said “We can’t go home The drinks are so much weaker when the city’s cold And the liquor only works to warm you up.” Ali said “We’re the grieving young Seventeen forever isn’t near enough But we’re twenty-two and twice as used up.” And now we may not get forever but forever is far And here and now is hanging out the side of the car Cause chemicals will fail us, baby, so will the stars We’re the saints of disregard And no, we can’t go home The night is still so young We could steal the air and hold our breath til dawn They’ll never take us alive We’ll find the upside to low life Ali says “We’re the hellfire’s own Stumbling through limbo to the great unknown.” But it’s blood and gold, the in-between we roam And now we may not get forever but forever is far And here and now is chills that cover all of the scars Cause pharmacy will fail us, baby, so will the gods We’re the saints of disregard Cause I’m summer-drunk and blistered up Barefoot sprinting down the boulevard I’m still alive and terrified And young enough to not know why I’m a half-lie away from God And he doesn’t owe none But I wish he would
5.
Blue Line 03:01
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Take the blue line Push the pain below A little too gone on the long way back The light floods in through the ceiling cracks Take the blue line Long live the grieving young A little too gone on the long way back It’s life laid out on the subway tracks Take the blue line I heard someone say the way we are Is just the way we’re meant to be Nothing is without intent I hope that’s true for you and me Cause we’re overwhelmed And not doing well But it’s pretty in the city’s veins Maybe we could be okay
6.
Blow 02:45
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I don’t wanna get drunk again But you do, so we do I don’t wanna go out again But you do, so we do Talk that shit about your new fast friends Doing blow in the valley, aren’t you better than that? You’re so fake deep, high above the latest trends And you’re rolling your eyes as your nose bleeds again And I’m done chasing down private time Fist fights and that cherry wine No heaven between your thighs Just purgatory and killing time Those neon lights won’t always glow When you burn out, baby, don’t forget that I told you so Truth hurts Yeah, you only do it cause your friends do Brand new pinker pair of city lungs Second chances bore you so you light one up Angry cause nobody in the trust fund club Knows who you are, so you total your car No sweat, tears, and no blood to show Black card and your second phone Split lip and I’m walking home Glass knuckles and battered bones Said, “Fuck the fight And your habits too.” Truth hurts; you only do it cause your friends do
7.
Bar Napkins 01:34
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This marriage is fleeting and so are the booze I’ll drink to the end if you drink to it too Hand-me-down vows on bar napkins The groom is a cheat and so are his friends So wash it down, catch the plastic bouquet “Ain’t that your brother? That’s so fucked to say!” My bad, man, but that’s okay He’s never gonna hear this anyway Well, I do I do I do feel sorry for… I do I do I do feel sorry for you
8.
Party Foul 04:15
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Oh, I would kill myself but I don’t wanna ruin the party Oh, I would kill myself but I don’t wanna ruin the party Oh, I would kill myself but I don’t wanna ruin the party Oh, I would kill myself but I don’t wanna ruin the party So I won’t
9.
Belladonna 05:38
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Blood on my tongue Don’t know what from but it’s too familiar Kissing a gun I know I said this was fun but maybe Just at the start of it I loved you apart from it But I don’t wanna be young forever If it takes this long I was kind of hoping I’d be dead by now I was hoping they’d be missing me by now Young on the run Don’t know what from but we’re dying to get there My skin is gone Your hair is long and your mother misses you I’m losing consciousness Don’t know whose house this is You’re beautiful, but I see How I broke you in this light I was kind of hoping I’d be dead by now I was hoping they’d be missing me by now Thinking, if I live too fast, I could speed this up If I hurt myself, I could save the trouble for someone else I was kind of hoping I’d be dead by now I’m sorry that I fucked you up I’m sorry that I can’t take it back I’m sorry that I lost myself and kept your heart Cause I was lonely and selfish again
10.
Sugar Salt 03:36
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It’s half-past 3 again She’s reeling it’s A little less pretty when the pills run out Sounds like me again I’m giving in I’m trading in my reason for a little brown Second-hand brain, we’re just the same Somebody kicked our heads right in Elegant pain, a car-chase game The urge is tension thick I’m calling again, I’m out of my head She only wants me cause I burned that bed She said “I love anything I can’t take home Oh, I love anything I can’t take home.” I try to forget, but nevertheless I only miss you when I’m good again Oh, I love anything I can’t take home You know, I love anything I can’t take home It’s half-past 2 pm It’s setting in She’s calling in a favor from a former flame Well, I’m still sleeping in I’m blurry and I’m fighting off the visions and the fucking shakes Intricate names, alternative strains Somebody kicked our heads right in Overpriced k and you on my brain I’m coming over. I can’t quit Somebody told me Jessie took a little too much Hope you’re doing okay, know it must be rough Oh, all our friends are rich, dead, or knocked-up Maybe we should kick this stuff The city stopped glowing with a champagne buzz But we kept drinking just to spite the loss Guess shit got darker than I hoped it would Maybe we should hang this up
11.
Cherry 03:57
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I know you came with your friends I think you told me that you never really liked them There’s smoke all in your hair You couldn’t seem to care I should be leaving but it all just depends… On you This new and dizzy correlation You pressed into my chest no hesitation You talk so smooth. I bite my lip just waiting Iron on my tongue You only kiss me cause you love the color Well, Good God! I die to watch you hit the night You rival heaven from the passenger throne You slide your hands up leather, cherry wine Don’t bring your friends along I can’t ever get you alone Don’t make me stay til the end These kids are wasted I can’t understand a word you’re saying Pacing a path in the grass This high is fading too fast Stuck in your cycle of “I don’t, but maybe I do…” Want you. Come through Let’s put this habit to bed Your call, you choose. Just let me see in your head You talk so smooth, I bite my lip just waiting You kiss me laughing And get off on how it keeps me hanging Dance, dance, dance for me My baby, in the middle of the party Come on, bite the sky with me My baby, we can finish what we started
12.
Overtone 02:04
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Disembodied voices on a phone Yeah, I’m a clever boy, baby, with a match for a backbone Well, you’re never around but not alone You strike me once, for warmth, when you come home So remember me in a softer light I’m just as gone as you said you liked Well I’ve lost it now and you’re missing out Disembodied voices on the phone I’m lying naked in the shower trying to shake you from my overtone But I know you’ll share your pheromones With some other boy that doesn’t keep you on your toes And it isn’t fair, you’re methadone We killed each other, we were just too numb to know So remember me in a softer light I’m just as gone as you said you liked Well I’ve lost it now and you’re missing out
13.
Summer Jobs 03:45
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Asphalt Swisher lips I was 15 and sun-kissed We laid out on the lawn And let dawn do us in Dewdrops And summer jobs Must’ve loved you but I forgot Let our older friends come pick us up (Oh, we worried my mother sick.) Six kids in an old shed Talking sex, drugs, and next weekend I tried so hard to be cool like them Hit too hard, nearly choked to death Nearly choked to death But I guess that’s just teenage pain Down for the count or backwards from 10 But a second winds only a second wind While you’re still standing Don’t forget me yet Don’t forget me yet Don’t forget me yet Don’t forget me yet Voicemail: There were alot of days where my friend Eli would either stay at my house or he would meet up with me before school, and we would skate from my house to school It was a very small town -- you saw the same people everyday We chrysalis, or shed our skin Like that cicada shell on the seat of your two-speed The days drip off through the salt in my sweat I tried to keep up with all your references Most of the time, I’d just smile and nod my head I never cut my teeth with those kids But you did
14.
Real Cool 03:18
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Baby, we came close again Just a glimmer above the rest There's still prose left, I've not said yet I know you love it when I talk like that You said I look real cool, real cool I'm tar and 40 proof, just what you're into The boys back home got a stronger jaw But no bite back, like I do 9 to 10, you see right through I'm pellucid to you So don't go too far, heaven's sake It's deja vu, but it could change Walk on water on Lake Shore Drive You said you've seen the waves this high Lost our shoes, our way, our minds Solemn and soaked on the south bound line You said it feels real cool, real cool Drunk on a bridge with you, we smoke until we're blue The boys back home got a stronger jaw But won't carry you, like I do I know you're thinking we've been up so high It's bound to come low Record of black-blue love, and it shows I know, but it won't I know you're thinking that you've seen it all Well, maybe just close There must be somewhere pretty that we don't know You know, you never know
15.
New Suburban Gothic 03:34
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Sad though, my humors getting old Can’t walk the line without crossing one more Low blow, I hit back twentyfold Can’t hurt you like I used to, so I’m a little bored I made you cry I’m well aware You hardened up It’s only fair But, Jesus Christ You don’t even care Keep asking me why the fuck you’re here Then you say my name And some words I don’t know Talk right through me So angry and beautiful Swing play, we stay Dizzy from the back and forth I’ll never love you Just thought you should know Low blow, low blow I only talk to you like you’re somebody new, I know Low blow, low blow Slow burn a bridge or two Guess I’m the one who made you cold I painted us In a cheap hotel A paradise The shade of hell I only love you with the back of my hand Oh, you only call me when the drama gets bland You complain I changed Spit some poison on the phone Won’t stay, no shame Kiss our problems comatose Swing play, we stay Vivid in the afterglow I’ll never love you Just can’t let you go Can’t hurt you like I used to Low blow I’m just a little bored I’m just a little bored Can’t hurt you like I used to Low blow I’m just a little bored I’m just a little bored
16.
I Woke God 05:42
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I woke God when June came round Said, “Long time, no see.” Bent my ear to the freeway sound I’m borrowed, not free Don’t mind me if I live like it Glossy abandon Found a better way To manipulate my blues And hide the truth I woke God when cicadas sang Said, “Shame you couldn’t stay for drinks.” He laughed and took one for the road Heard he was sober til he met me Guess now we’re all fucked up Maybe took too much Trying to forget what We remember when we’re blue And hide the truth There’s a sacrament in the lives we lent out To distant friends and relative we lie about I take it and go my pace Save a tear for when they rest me way down The grieving ends when the soil evens out And God and I share a space Do you think he’ll kiss my broken parts? Do you think he’ll wince when he tastes my tainted blood? And should he fail again to ease my heavy heart I hope he molds me new, pristine, from clay and righteous mud And we’ll sing: Allelujah Holy grace Alfather, do you know my face? Allelujah Sweet disgrace Alfather, do you know my name? Then sings my soul “My saviour, God to Thee How great Thou art? How great Thou art?” (I must have misplaced my morals when I unpacked again.)

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released October 30, 2018

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Former Vandal Fort Wayne, Indiana

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